Most divorces involve spouses meeting with separate attorneys, filing paperwork with the court, and going through a litany of exercises most people find daunting. This is known as a traditional dissolution of marriage. Courts impose strict deadlines, parties must often complete written discovery, spouses occasionally sit through depositions, and experts sometimes become necessary. The case either settles through dispute resolution between attorneys or a judge hears the issues and decides. There’s also a third option divorcing couples seek out: collaborative divorce.

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative divorce is a process where each spouse and their attorneys negotiate collaboratively. This means conversations between the spouses and their attorneys meet in the same physical or virtual room and come up with a list of issues the divorcing couple faces. These issues could include child custody, parenting time, child support, spousal support, division of assets, and/or allocation of debts. After identifying the issues at play, the parties have a relatively clear understanding of what must happen next.

The next steps involve each spouse meeting alone with their attorney, discussing what the law dictates, and exploring where the parties might come to a resolution they can both live with permanently. The parties engage in multiple collaborative discussions where they speak about the issues, how they can best solve problems, and discuss the emotional impact certain decisions will have on the parties and, if applicable, their children. The collaborative nature of these meetings has open dialogue where neither spouse nor attorney have ulterior motives and truly want to settle privately and as peacefully as possible.

For those with a commitment to transparency and teamwork, collaborative divorce lets the soon-to-be former spouses move forward with less animosity and a controlled outcome for life ahead.

The reality is, many situations are not suitable for collaborative divorce - cases that involve a spouse who does not want to be collaborative, a spouse unwilling to make compromises, and domestic abuse situations. The downside to collaborative divorce, if negotiations ultimately fail, is both parties normally must find new lawyers and start the process over.

How to decide

Ultimately, the choice of a traditional or collaborative divorce is highly fact-intensive. One process is not better than the other. The reasoning for choosing the type of divorce you move forward with should be decided only after careful consideration of your goals, the likelihood of the other person being agreeable to cooperation, and the needs of your family.